Pete:
Im always confused why nothing really works out for me you know!?
It’s my fucking fault! I act like a fucking cunt,
and so many people have seen me in a
really bad way, and that’s, like, hard to live with you know!
It’s getting fucking really old,
You know what i mean?
I’m literally everything i hate!
I’m like, if i wasn’t me,
me and my boys would be making fun of me!
We’d be like, look at that fucking tool dude!
And i, just, i feel like im running out of options man!
Pete’s Friend:
I worry about you to a level that i don’t worry about you anymore
I have worried about you so much, so deeply, for so many late nights, now that I don’t worry about you anymore dude!
Pete’s Mom:
You know when i read that story (Pete’s fake death news) why it wrecked me? Because i immediately believed it! It’s like the thing that you always knew was gonna happen, had finally happened! You cant imagine what it’s like to live like this Pete! Do you have any idea how hard it is to be your mother?
David:
what are you gonna do?
Benjie:
Oh, man! Why the fuck you asking me that?
David:
I wanna make sure you're good and that you have, like, a plan!
Sorry, maybe I'm a little stoned.
I'm sorry!
Benjie:
No. It's all right. And, like, what are you
gonna do when you go home?
David:
I don't know. Go back to, like, my job and my family I guess! The usual.
Benjie:
Great. I look forward to
speaking to you in six months.
David:
What does that mean?
Benjie:
You know what it means, man.
David:
Do I?
Banjie:
I don't really wanna start anything.
David:
Okay, good. Then don't!
Benjie:
You used to be fucking different, man!
You used to be so emotional.
You used to fucking cry about everything, man.
Like...
David:
Yeah, I know. It was awful. Who the fuck wants to cry about everything?
Benjie:
Dave, man, you're not fucking listenin' to
me, man. I'm saying that we used to be
different. Like, "we."
David:
Yeah. Benji, I have, like, a job and a family.
Benjie:
Mm. I know.
David:
And I don't have time to hang out with you
all night, every night, okay?
Banjie:
I don't fucking want that.
David:
Yes, you do. You're, like, an all-
encompassing person.
I don't think you realize that.
Benjie:
Man, I'm just saying, like, you, like...
literally never visit me.
David:
What, in...
Sorry, you mean in Binghamton?
Benjie:
Yeah, man, that's where I live.
David:
Well, yeah, I'm busy, okay?
And I live in New York City. Isn't it easier for
you to come down to me?
Benjie:
Easier? It's the same fucking distance,
Dave.
David:
Yeah, but it's New York City, man. It's, like,
the more logical place to visit than fucking Binghamton, with all due respect.
Benjie:
What's wrong with Binghamton?
David:
Nothing is wrong with Binghamton.
You are, like, purposefully making me look
like an asshole for questioning it.
Benjie:
Yo, fuck off, dude.
David:
You fuck off.
Benjie:
Why don't you give a shit about me anymore?
David:
I do give a shit about you.
I just don't understand [tearfully] how you
could do anything so fucking stupid to yourself…
Benjie:
Dave, man.
David:
Benji, I, like... I walk around with, like, this terrible fucking image of you in my head, okay?
And, yeah, I don't...
I don't wanna lose you, okay?
Do you see how people love you?
Do you see what happens when you walk into a room? I would give anything to know
what that feels like.
But you light up a room and then you, like,
shit on everything inside of it."
Marcia:
What a troubled young man!
He's funny and he's charming under all the mishegoss. I feel bad for him. Has he always been like this?
David:
Yeah. I mean, he's always been, up and down, you know?
Like, he's sensitive and he sees people so clearly!
But then something inside him switches and he gets so emotional!
Marcia:
Well, he's clearly in pain.
David:
Yeah, but isn't everyone in pain in some way? I mean, who isn't...
Marcia:
Well, you seem okay.
David:
I'm not, though. I'm not!
I just, like, take a pill for my fucking OCD,
you know?
And I jog and I meditate, and I go to work in the morning, come home at the end of the day, and I, like, move forward, you know!?Because I know that my pain is unexceptional,
So I don't feel the need to, like, I don't know, burden everybody with it, you know?
I'm sorry, I'm ranting!
I'm just, like... [breath shudders] I don't know. Um... Sorry.
I'm just, so fucking exhausted by him sometimes, you know, like, I... [voice quivering] I... I love him and I hate him
and I want to kill him, and at the same time,
I want to be him, you know?
And I feel, like, so stupid around him, you know?
Because he is so fucking cool, and he just does not give a shit.
And then... just, like, being here with him is just so fucking baffling to me, you know?
It's just baffling 'cause it's, like, how did this guy come from the survivors of this place, you know?
I mean that your uncle had to sell, like, used furniture to rich assholes or, like, couldn't get into medical school.
And that you survived, like, the worst thing to happen on this planet in the last 30 years. And that our grandma survived
by a thousand miracles when the entire world was trying to kill her, you know?
And I look at him and I just, like, wanna ask him...
I just wanna ask him, and I just can't.
Like... Like, how did the product of a
thousand fucking miracles overdose on a
bottle of sleeping pills?
Yeah, he tried to...take his own life Like, six months ago.
My Aunt Leah, His (Benji's) mom, found him on the couch.
And I know he is so funny and so charming. And you are all gonna walk away with
this picture which he totally is in so many good ways!
But when I picture him, it is him passed out on a ratty basement couch while I am in New York City with my beautiful wife
and adorable child, and it just fucking kills me."
