Too many fucking memories man!!!!
They make u unable to unfuck yourself from all the shit that happened with that particular person
and it prevents u from being who you used to be before all that stuff happened!!!
And sometimes they make u feel the feeling...
That you don't even know what the fuck u are feeling!!! LOL!!!
Flashbacks, them fucking flashbacks...
I knoww reacting to them will be unintentional,
We just cant fucking escape from'em but to react to them freaking flashbacks!!!
They will make your mind stuck in a thought loop and they will fetch you to a place where you don't wanna go...
To a place where u would become so helpless that even your sound wont come out!!!!
They will make your mind stuck in a time loop where u will get stuck for the rest of your life, thru infinity till eternity...
Right when you think that you are over that situation or that person
Right when you think that those tiniest detailed memories cannot hurt you anymore...
A random flashback would bring you back a thousand memories ;
And they would invade and penetrate your mind , rush to your heart, and they would hit you so bad that they would make you wish that you could unmet that person,
And they will fucking break your heart all over again!!!
There... you are at nowhere but at the threshold of that split second where that taunting time loop begins...again!!!
So the loop begins... them memories hit you so fucking bad that it hurts like a motherfucker!!!
She doesn't hate you, neither does she love you, she's just not necessarily excited about your existence anymore!!!
And it fucking hurts!!!
It fucking kills you slowly!!!
Here you were thinking that only supernatural freaks could haunt human lives,
Yet it could be a photo album, which would remind us of who we used to be,
Who we once were and that we actually used to live, got to live a life like that in real fucking life!!!!
Or it could be some things, that you have left unsaid,
Or a broken promise, a love letter, a text message, a memory or a consequence of a bad choice u made;
Or it could be a song...for each li'l memory has its own soundtrack.... !!!
PHOTOGRAPHS....that is what i love about them!!! They are the proof that once, even if it was just for a heartbeat... everything was perfect!!!
So they make u linger for longer in that time warp where u get lost in your past in a surreal world!!!
But when the fist of reality hits you and punches you in the fucking face,
You are reminded that those wounds, won't ever get healed,
And that the pain is just too real, 'cause there is too much that time cannot erase!!!!
So the mind keeps replaying what heart cannot erase!!!
Maybe, just maybe, u will be amazed that one-day you have erased all them memories from your heart... but still, not all of'em, not completely, cuz some tiny li'l parts of those memories will remain and linger in your heart like a haze!!!!
She...
man she fucks me over and over again...
Me and her... we started with a simple hello, but ended up with a complicated goodbye... !!!
There is this moment when you are in the amidst of the process of getting to know someone...
That moment when u realize something deep and buried in you, something that carved into your soul , is deep and buried in them too...
It makes u feel like meeting a stranger that you've known for your whole life!!!!
But now here we are.... again.... not friends, not enemies... just strangers, with some unforgettable cherished memories of a lifetime!!!
So we departed without the perfect closure...
Which makes me miserable by making me project a fantasy of how the relationship could have been... But yet I have realized that some things just have to end without a closure...
Cuz what happened has happened, and whats done is done!!!
We are nothing but travelers on a grandiose journey man,
Bathing in elixir whirlpools,
Swirling thru stardust eddies and thru infinity...
The life is eternal,
We have just stopped for a moment to encounter each other...
To meet , to love, to share and to be strangers when we depart again... i guess!!!
So in that moment of encounter,
Just enjoy the every heartbeat of it, for it will never happen again, not with this exact same person, not this same exact feeling, not this exact same chemistry or the bond ever again thru this journey...
So cherish and fathom that unique moment, for this moment is a tiny little parenthesis in eternity!!!
Live it to the fullest of your veins for you won't have to continue your journey with unlived lives in your veins,
For it will make u feel like u reached the empyrean!!!!!
For u wont have to regret that you couldn't live that moment to the fullest!!!
Cuz you ain't coming back, but travelling thru this vast eternity forever...
Even after the stars died... even after black-holes were created and white holes are born,
For we journey from this universe to the other via this black-hole thru those white holes...
