I had this principle that i lived up to, that never ever to invest too much emotion in one thing or one person...
Cuz deep inside i knew it's always gonna be a setup to the pain of loosing them...
Maybe that idea being conceived in the farthest inceptive corner of my perception had to do something with the Buddhist background of my childhood and schooling days...
Them teachings...
"You only loose what you cling into!!!", or
"Nothing is permanent, everything is subject to change, being is always becoming...", or
"The root of suffering is attachment..."!!!
These were, are and always will be true!!!
Cuz when You grow up,
You realize that life always plays these dirty, nasty and horrible tricks on us humans even when we become fully humane with all our heart, all our souls and with all our capacity and potential...
First i couldn't help but broke the first part of this principle when i started to fall in love and dream about Range Rovers...
And then Dodge Chargers and muStangs...
So um still fucked up in my head cuz i have no idea when will i ever be able to buy all three of'em... Lol!!!
And then lately, actually recently, I became so damn helpless, i couldn't stood by the latter part of this principle too, hence broken the whole principle...
Man, I Love Her for Who She is...
She is this adorable cute little Princess,
Who's got a bad temper, yet gentle in heart...
Looks So hot yet adorable, cute, pure and genuine in Her big heart at the same time...
Talks and inspires people without even thinking and worrying about Her own problems...
Atleast She does not show'em problems to others and does not infect people around Her with Her sadness...
She does not even care for Her hapinness when it comes to the feelings of others'...
She'd sacrifice, She'd compromise, She'd dedicate Her everything even for the sake of the happiness of a person who'd destroy Her life, who'd make Her suffer, who'd do Her wrong again & again... And still would love that person with all Her heart...
She'd return him with nor avenge neither with revenge...
But with Her own life...
Literally she'd make that person happy and make sure that person's gonna stay happy for the rest of his life...
Just for the sake of that person's hapinness and Her kinsmen's happiness...
Actually i wonder and ponder for myself... Is this really a human being or a deity or an angel who's disguised in human form...
Only does she and god will ever know...
How could have i resisted the company of her...
How could have i stayed without ever talking to her...
I knew i didn't deserve her... I still know that...
Cuz i know damn well that i am not her type... I don't have the figure to make me look sexy enough in her eyes...
I am not funny and great at making her laugh...
I do not have the wealth to make her happy and buy things that would make her smile...
So i just only wanted to be just friends with her...
So i started it off without even giving a second thought about that damn principle...
Back then i did not have the minutest clue that this girl will change everything around my life into this happy cheerful and joyful state!!!
So here i am now...
Being loved, while She feels guilty upon this deed of She loving me...
Showering Her with Love, yet i am not having the right to Love Her soul that much...
Happy, yet deep burried in uncertainty...
Relaxed, but without knowing how long it'll last...
Inspired, yet oblivion to whatever's gonna take place in the universes of ours, mine and hers...
Willing to do whatever it takes to make Her mine, yet both hands are tied by all the above things...
So here i am... Gazing at the future...
Waiting to embrace what it has to offer for us...
Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second.... Fractions of moments by moments...
I really hope it's gonna be a great future...
Me and her
For ever and ever
Life after other... Together, forever... 💜💜💜
Cuz deep inside i knew it's always gonna be a setup to the pain of loosing them...
Maybe that idea being conceived in the farthest inceptive corner of my perception had to do something with the Buddhist background of my childhood and schooling days...
Them teachings...
"You only loose what you cling into!!!", or
"Nothing is permanent, everything is subject to change, being is always becoming...", or
"The root of suffering is attachment..."!!!
These were, are and always will be true!!!
Cuz when You grow up,
You realize that life always plays these dirty, nasty and horrible tricks on us humans even when we become fully humane with all our heart, all our souls and with all our capacity and potential...
First i couldn't help but broke the first part of this principle when i started to fall in love and dream about Range Rovers...
And then Dodge Chargers and muStangs...
So um still fucked up in my head cuz i have no idea when will i ever be able to buy all three of'em... Lol!!!
And then lately, actually recently, I became so damn helpless, i couldn't stood by the latter part of this principle too, hence broken the whole principle...
Man, I Love Her for Who She is...
She is this adorable cute little Princess,
Who's got a bad temper, yet gentle in heart...
Looks So hot yet adorable, cute, pure and genuine in Her big heart at the same time...
Talks and inspires people without even thinking and worrying about Her own problems...
Atleast She does not show'em problems to others and does not infect people around Her with Her sadness...
She does not even care for Her hapinness when it comes to the feelings of others'...
She'd sacrifice, She'd compromise, She'd dedicate Her everything even for the sake of the happiness of a person who'd destroy Her life, who'd make Her suffer, who'd do Her wrong again & again... And still would love that person with all Her heart...
She'd return him with nor avenge neither with revenge...
But with Her own life...
Literally she'd make that person happy and make sure that person's gonna stay happy for the rest of his life...
Just for the sake of that person's hapinness and Her kinsmen's happiness...
Actually i wonder and ponder for myself... Is this really a human being or a deity or an angel who's disguised in human form...
Only does she and god will ever know...
How could have i resisted the company of her...
How could have i stayed without ever talking to her...
I knew i didn't deserve her... I still know that...
Cuz i know damn well that i am not her type... I don't have the figure to make me look sexy enough in her eyes...
I am not funny and great at making her laugh...
I do not have the wealth to make her happy and buy things that would make her smile...
So i just only wanted to be just friends with her...
So i started it off without even giving a second thought about that damn principle...
Back then i did not have the minutest clue that this girl will change everything around my life into this happy cheerful and joyful state!!!
So here i am now...
Being loved, while She feels guilty upon this deed of She loving me...
Showering Her with Love, yet i am not having the right to Love Her soul that much...
Happy, yet deep burried in uncertainty...
Relaxed, but without knowing how long it'll last...
Inspired, yet oblivion to whatever's gonna take place in the universes of ours, mine and hers...
Willing to do whatever it takes to make Her mine, yet both hands are tied by all the above things...
So here i am... Gazing at the future...
Waiting to embrace what it has to offer for us...
Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second.... Fractions of moments by moments...
I really hope it's gonna be a great future...
Me and her
For ever and ever
Life after other... Together, forever... 💜💜💜
