Monday, March 28, 2016

KINDERGARTEN LOVE





I secretly liked to sit beside you honey... 
I used to like the feeling i felt when my heart knew that you were there, right next to me sitting, 
Even though you didn't have the slightest idea that this li'l nerdy looking girl was right next to you...experiencing one of the best feelings she's had in her whole life...!!!
Time flew... So you were the brightest amongst us.... 
You went away, leaving us, leaving me, Where we started right back at the square one... 
Even worse, you left me right after I got my first girly thingy... 
Right after I was about to feel about boys, like a grownup girl... 
I was just about to experience that heart pounding, physique sweating, eyes dilating feeling..., 
Which  they call love i guess, and which I've never felt before, which I still haven't felt even for once in my life despite the fact that now I'm a married woman! 
WHAT MY MIND DOES NOT ABIDE
MY HEART SAYS FINE...
God, if we were to stay there in our old school, the whole schooling years... I would have been experiencing that Divine feeling since our high school... 
And you will be right here with me right now, with your arms around my belly, 
Face buried in my neck telling me how much you love me... 
I would've caressed you with my palms, my lips and my voice... 
I would've clung into your bare chest, kiss your neck a thousand times... 
You would've been kissing my soft and warm hands with your lips... 
Oh darling this hurts so much... I should be ashamed to think like this, and i know it! 
Every time i think about you in my heart, my mind reminds me the fact that um already married to a person whom i've never seen before but i had to say yes for my dad's proposal... 
Even-though we were a perfect match, i had to marry that stranger 
Who would've been in grade 6 when you and i were seeing the light of this world for the first time... 
I sometimes do wonder why i be with'im when i don't feel a thing for him...
But then again, my dada betrayed my life to this heartless ruthless man 
I have to love him right!? i have to love him despite the fact he always leave me alone in my house whenever i get sick.. despite the fact that he sleeps with many other women... despite the fact he betrays me infront of his colleagues, despite the fact that he blames and hits me for no reason, despite the fact that he makes my life a living hell...
I can't get away from him as this is SL, mama, dada, his relatives... all force me to stay with'im!
Um just a li'l girl who never went out  in my entire life 
So honey the only choice is to live with'im right!? 
My love for you is pure darling
But all i know is...that, it's too late baby... It's way too late...
And here i am regretting, weeping and crying like you....
YOU ARE IN YOUR BED THINKING OF ME
UM HERE IN MY BED THINKING OF YOU
ONE OF US IS IN THE WRONG BED MY BABE...


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Her

She knows all my shit! She knows all the darkest fucked up shit deep buried inside me soul! She neither complains nor judges me for who i am...