Marcia:
What a troubled young man!
He's funny and he's charming under all the mishegoss. I feel bad for him. Has he always been like this?
David:
Yeah. I mean, he's always been, up and down, you know?
Like, he's sensitive and he sees people so clearly!
But then something inside him switches and he gets so emotional!
Marcia:
Well, he's clearly in pain.
David:
Yeah, but isn't everyone in pain in some way? I mean, who isn't...
Marcia:
Well, you seem okay.
David:
I'm not, though. I'm not!
I just, like, take a pill for my fucking OCD,
you know?
And I jog and I meditate, and I go to work in the morning, come home at the end of the day, and I, like, move forward, you know!?Because I know that my pain is unexceptional,
So I don't feel the need to, like, I don't know, burden everybody with it, you know?
I'm sorry, I'm ranting!
I'm just, like... [breath shudders] I don't know. Um... Sorry.
I'm just, so fucking exhausted by him sometimes, you know, like, I... [voice quivering] I... I love him and I hate him
and I want to kill him, and at the same time,
I want to be him, you know?
And I feel, like, so stupid around him, you know?
Because he is so fucking cool, and he just does not give a shit.
And then... just, like, being here with him is just so fucking baffling to me, you know?
It's just baffling 'cause it's, like, how did this guy come from the survivors of this place, you know?
I mean that your uncle had to sell, like, used furniture to rich assholes or, like, couldn't get into medical school.
And that you survived, like, the worst thing to happen on this planet in the last 30 years. And that our grandma survived
by a thousand miracles when the entire world was trying to kill her, you know?
And I look at him and I just, like, wanna ask him...
I just wanna ask him, and I just can't.
Like... Like, how did the product of a
thousand fucking miracles overdose on a
bottle of sleeping pills?
Yeah, he tried to...take his own life Like, six months ago.
My Aunt Leah, His (Benji's) mom, found him on the couch.
And I know he is so funny and so charming. And you are all gonna walk away with
this picture which he totally is in so many good ways!
But when I picture him, it is him passed out on a ratty basement couch while I am in New York City with my beautiful wife
and adorable child, and it just fucking kills me."
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