Ohh Death; The Sweetest Friend O' Mine

It calls me closer, it calls me near
"Just once and it'll be over"
Death whispers in my ear
Irresistible is its sweet entice
Staring down, which one to slice,
I observe my previous tries
My unseen hurt and earlier cries
Whether it's depression or something else,
I dunno why i feel this way...
Many will call this many a names,
Yet i dunno what i feel inside my brain...
No peace in my mind, no peace in my head
The quiet intelligent me, long since fled
Anger and rage consume me
My mind's demons are screaming to be free
The walls of my mind's cage keeps getting caved in...
"Just be still,
Enjoy the rush,
Feel the gush
Of warm and thick and red blood"
I slash down with an improvised knife
First the right wrist,
Then the left...
Blood oozes
And drips down the drain...
A slight tingle with real enjoyable pain,
Once was one layer of skin and a layer of muscle...
Now a fold of muscles apart with a bottom of yellowish pink, the layer of fat i guess!
A Calmness comes over me
My head feels heavy,
I get dizzy and legs go weak...
Both my hands become numb...
Darkness surrounds me,
I get a glimpse of this never ending abyss
I embrace the darkness,
Where me and my thoughts are alone...
I light up a cigarette sit down on the lidded toilet seat...
Writing my thoughts in empty space,
With the smoke as it leaves my lips...
And the journal for today is taken down
When atleast 4 or 5 cigarettes were burnt down...
There goes another day of my never ending shitty life...
Fuck me 😂😂😂